CyberDating ~ Free Dating and Relationship Advice!

Love is Blindfolded

When you take one sense -- especially a dominant sense like sight -- offline, the mind instantly starts to refocus its dependence on the remaining senses. Blindfold your lover and watch their four remaining senses grow ever more sharp. Searching for clues about their environment, your lover will focus deeply on the sound of your voice, the touch of your feather, the scent of the oil you rub into their skin. Blindfolding is the instant sex makeover.

When you talk to your blindfolded lover, the lack of sight makes your voice more likely to create pictures in their minds. Here are some adventures you can take your blindfolded lover on, just with the sound of your voice.

You can create scenes -- or recreate them -- like your first date. "Remember when we got the extra long ride on the Ferris wheel? Remember how I grabbed your hand in the back of your Dad’s car -- was it like this?" Try to include all the other senses as you create memories. Could you obtain cotton candy? There’s smell and feel and taste. You can try to recreate carnival sounds: if there were shooting galleries, record a small cap gun and play it in the background, perhaps a cell phone ring tone will sound like the music for a ride or a downloaded song would remind her of the skating rink or the game arcade.

Talk the story of your first kiss, lead up to it slowly, and then recreate the kiss as your lover remains in the dark. As you move on, you could talk about the first feel of her breast. Or if you’re a newly connected couple, tell a story about what you always pictured doing with this person, and then follow through.

You can play guessing games "Guess what I’ve got here?" Run the warm oil under her nose. "Guess what I’m about to do to you now?" Run your finger along her inner thigh.

You can talk hypothetical situations. Pretend we’re at the Pier Elegant restaurant. We’re sitting side by side at this exclusive restaurant, and I’m not wearing underwear, and you’re not wearing underwear. To punctuate, take off your lover’s underwear. Then you can start with the wine. "You’re drinking the finest wine…" and you can proceed to narrate parts of a meal and feed them to your blindfold lover. But continue to interrupt: "I’m putting my hand up your skirt, right here at the table." (Wait a moment and milk the suspense, then go for it. Hand up her skirt.) Then "Oh, shit, those people over there are watching us like hawks." Vary your pussy play. "They know what we’re up to." Your hand gets bolder with her pussy. "The old guy wants to see bush -- should I pull your skirt up more?"

By the end of the meal, you could have her standing there naked, perhaps some wine dribbled across her breasts, and you can tell her that people are staring at her angrily as they walk out of the restaurant, looking at her up and down, examining her breasts. "The old guy is about to touch you!" Grab her nipple. "Don’t touch my wife." And so forth. You can tweak the scenario to taste -- yours and your partner’s -- but you get the idea.

The blindfold is the gateway to exotica. Anything you see can become something else under the dark of a blindfold...

You can also create role-play fantasies. If she likes you as a tough guy, you could be a pirate who has just captured her. Maybe use your neck tie to bind her hands behind her back. Then really play with her senses. Place an unlit cigar nearby for the effect of its powerful scent. Undress her quickly and roughly. "I’m not sure how much I’m going to get for you on the market." At this point you can manhandle her breasts, open her pussy, feel around her mouth, and so forth. Or if she likes to be the dominant one, she could be a Duchess or Queen. You can approach her in the darkened palace chamber: "I’ve been sent here to massage and oil your feet, milady."

Some people like to play on their dreams, others on their lusts, others on their fears. Teasing someone’s fears works wonderfully with the blindfold. The blindfold is the gateway to exotica. Anything you see can become something else under the dark of a blindfold. A friend of mine once found a smooth replica of a snake at a fair and his sub was afraid of snakes. The play snake was segmented so that it actually "slithered" and it was smooth enough to crawl across skin. He was able to run that over the naked body of his blindfolded sub and torture her as she lay there on her back. Though she suspected it might not be a real snake, she was never really sure. As the snake slithered down between her breasts and wiggled over her belly and across her navel towards her cunt, she shuddered and the chills were visible on her body.

Of course, any type of scene with props and narration like this takes a lot of planning or at least some effort. A complex scene is probably not something you’d invest time in, at least for the first couple of dates. But it sure can add spice and show your partner you’ve invested a lot of time and effort in the process. This in itself can be an aphrodisiac. (A scene like this also scores "long-term points" in that it’s sure to produce many memorable, one-time-only moments).

So here are some tips to get your imagination going on each of the four non-sight senses, hearing, smell, taste, touch.

Besides theatrical sound affects -- like the sound of a flogger cracking against the floor, a match being struck -- be aware of the sounds of lovemaking. You, taking your clothes off, rubbing your skin, playing with your genitals, sighing in appreciation, etc. Also think of all the things a voice can do, and about the wide range of variations you can create with your voice. It can sing, talk, whisper shout in a childlike playground voice, a sexy voice, a voice of command, an angry voice, a happy giggly voice, a pleading voice, a mean voice. When Michael Caine once spoke to Terry Gross in an interview, he explained the voice he used to create a low-classed British gangster. Having grown up among gansters, Caine had noticed that when they were angry they always flattened out their voices; no expression. Caine then did a variety of voices to show which ones created power, menace, and threat. Power, he maintained, came from the unemotional voice.

Experiment with different voices. Imagine playing with your lady’s pussy to the poem of This Little Piggy (four lips and a clit), ending (after much lube) by wiggling her clit. Or ladies, imagine guiding his hand through this exercise until he can do it on his own. Try it with a little girl’s voice or daddy’s voice. Your voice can be useful when you’re kissing your blindfolded lover’s neck area. You can rumble, moan, whisper. As you land your unexpected licks on his neck, or behind his ear, your breath becomes a big sound for him. Let it out in a small sigh, in little puffs, or in fast, heated breaths. You can whisper, not just in his ear, but over his face, in front of his eyes so he has to strain to make out the words.

The sense of smell is a rich and underdeveloped gold mine. Hopefully you got some ideas from the above scenarios because there a lot of ways to think of scent. In the world of scent, you can create associations, connect memories, create or enhance moods. For example, essential oils, used in aromatherapy, have a reputation for affecting mood. Each oil has its own properties. Some are considered relaxing, some invigorating, some aphrodisiacs. At any time in your lovemaking, you may want to incorporate any one of these moods. Ylang-ylang for example, is in the aphrodisiac department, along with rose and jasmine. Try wearing a dab in moist places: just below the arm pits, at the junction of the upper thighs. Or simply run the scent under your lover’s nose then remove it.

Another thing you can do with scents (essential oils work well here) is use them to create an enduring association, a trigger that can arouse your partner. For example, take a swatch of sandalwood essence and pass it under her nose (sandalwood can be an aphrodisiac for both men and women so watch out). Every time you pass the scent under her nose, pause a second and then kiss her nipple. Once you’ve established a rhythm, change it. Surprise her by kissing her nipple earlier than she expects or wait longer than you have been and make her wait. Keep repeating this process and in on time she’ll come to associate the scent with having her nipples kissed. Not only does this little game intensify the anticipation it may have pleasant after affects. The next time you meet her (even if it’s just for coffee), have a hint of that scent wafting around your lapels… She’s likely to start getting wet right on the spot.

Because we often associate a scent with memories or moods, you may be able to affect your lover’s mood Realtors have known for years that the scent of bread cooking or coffee roasting can make a person feel welcome and at home. That is why they would tell homeowners to have a pie in the oven or coffee brewing when they show the house. If you’re having a date over for the first time and you want him or her to feel welcome, have the coffee brewing.

Even negative scents (that cause aversion) have their uses. They can confer power or control on a dom/me as well as fear or degradation on a sub.

FANTASY: Say you and your girlfriend want sex to feel raunchy and rebellious, like you’re fucking her on the pool table in front of everyone at the corner bar. Try your bathroom. Light up a cigarette and let it burn down in an ashtray (for more raunch, add water for that smoke-soaked-walls smell); place plastic cups with gin, brandy, rum around the room. That takes care of scent. Maybe have a boom box playing some blues or seventies rock -- and you’ve got sounds covered. Then guide your blindfolded lady in. For taste, let her pick out her favorite drink by smell and have her drink it from your hands. After you strip, you can be more careless with the drink, spilling it over her lips or down her breasts. As you go at it wildly on a towel over the floor or the bath tub, the sense of touch will take care of itself. Let alcohol spill; roll your naked bodies in it. Add your own extra touches. When you’re done, shower’s handy.

Touch. There are all kinds of touch beyond sexual touch: soft, hard, tickly, tingly, scratchy, airy. Tactile sensations can take your partner from rippling with gooseflesh to tingling with numbness; hot to cold. You can cause some of these sensations with products such as camphor (numbing) or mint (tingling). You can actually warm or cool the skin with creams, often for arthritic conditions, like the products called Icy-Hot, for example. When you start playing with the sense of touch -- by feather or foul -- you don’t always have to go straight for the gonads.

For example, take quickly evaporating witch hazel or rubbing alcohol, spread it around your blindfolded partner’s body, then blow on it, here and there (under arm pits, in belly button) and from close and then far. You can use an inflated balloon, by pinching the neck and releasing the air gradually over the skin. It will create a cool sensation as if chill ghosts are crossing his/her skin. You can use an empty whipped cream can to create air spurts (not to mention little dots of whipped cream). This you can add to your love play for its own sake. Or you can use it to make like Jack Frost with his dick. (Make sure there’s no open skin or your cool breeze will turn into nasty stinging real fast.) Play with your lover’s sense of touch.

There are countless materials you can bring to bear on a blindfolded lover. Satin scarves, soft fingers, vibrating toys. Tickle, for example. You can start with a feather and increase intensity until you’ve worked up to a vibrating tickler. Again, be unpredictable. Let the tickler move from one part of your lover’s body to another. But don’t let him or her know where it’s going to touch down. Vibrators make sound, so be aware; your lover is getting clues from both. From sound, from touch, and if s/he’s lying there naked, s/he’ll feel it in the air you displace as you move -- so to keep him or her "in the dark"; move slowly. If you like the idea of variety but doubt your own resourcefulness, sex toy stores often carry "massage kits" which may have an oil or two, a feather, and some rubbery goodies that you can play with.

Also, try turning the touch tables around. Place sexy objects (like a sex toy or your underwear) in your partner’s hands and ask them to guess what it is. For wrong guesses, you get to tickle their body top to bottom with a feather or a bit of tissue, or soft wool, or cold ice cube. In fact, if you’re planning to play with touch and blindfold, start looking around your home now, asking yourself, how would that feel? (On his lips? On her bottom? On his cock head? On the crack of her pussy?) Compile a list of your best ideas and the materials you’ll use to realize them. Planning a great blindfold session between dates is fun. By stimulating your imagination, planning raises the passion quotient between your lover and you. Not only that, but the process of making plans can turn your home into a virtual sex den.

To intensify your adventure, don’t just think of the blindfold as a short little episode in the larger act of intercourse. Continue through the entire lovemaking process with the blindfold in place. This works really well for couples in which one of the partners is not very vocal at saying what s/he wants. Many times, it’s the woman.

One of the biggest issues men have with women is often that women don’t let men know what they want. Men are dying to get in there and please a woman, but in any given situation, the lady’s not giving him much feedback. If you find the woman in your life doesn’t tell you what to do (or if you are that woman), try man-blindfolded sex. A man with a blindfold is a man who now needs a woman’s assistance and feedback.

Think about it. When he’s wearing a blindfold, she has to take more initiative; she has to take his hands and place them on her breasts, or pull his head to her lips for a kiss, or place his fingers on her clit, or open herself and guide his penis inside her. The man can sit back and relax. The woman can taste being in charge. It’s a wonderful experience for either partner. The blindfolded man notices feelings and sounds and scents he never noticed before.

There’s one more area of "different strokes" ht atmen and women have trouble getting over: The fact that a woman has to feel sexy, or feel like she looks good, before she’ll have sex is really hard for a guy to understand. He often overlooks her repeated questions: "do you think I’m fat?" assuming that once she sees his ample package or once he makes her tits squeal, she’ll get past these "silly questions" and desire will take her straight to arousal. Not always so. Men are more easily dominated by sight and touch; women, by emotion and feeling. He may find this problem baffling: his dick is waving at her and she’s not wanting to come. What’s wrong with this picture? The funny thing is, if a woman has body-image issues, visual stimulation may be the last thing she should be having. Because while she’s watching his healthy staff, she’s also seeing her rolls, wrinkles, freckles, or whatever it is that worries her..

Where men get nervous about performance, women get nervous about appearance. If her partner can’t see, it takes all that worry away. How can you tell she’s got a self-image problem? Whether she’s the woman in your life or a first date, there are telltale signs. A first-time date may fish for compliments: do you think I look good in these? Or she may take an even more subtle approach and seem really interested in the "types" of women you like. She may even name some actresses and ask your opinion or watch for your reaction. When you answer, she shows dismay. Bad sign: self image issues.

If you’ve known the woman for awhile, the signs of low self-image will be all too obvious ("I’ve gained so much weight lately, nothing fits" "I hate my hair," "If I looked like that…"). How do you entice a woman with self-image issues to have hot, raw sex? The answer is simple: Blindfold. True, her man will have to run the show, but the rewards in terms of her response will be worth the work.

Another clear case for the blindfold: one of the partners is a little too cerebral (mind-oriented). In a woman this issue on top of self-image problems is a killer. Get a blindfold on her, fast :). For cerebral folks, being blindfolded pulls their focus away from mental commentary and keeps their experience in the realm of the sensual, where it belongs.

You can blindfold either the man or the woman. The same way a blindfold can relieve a man of his sense of responsibility for doing all the right things, it can also relieve a woman of her need to look the right way. A lot is going to depend on the woman. Does she feel badly about her body image? And if you add the one-two punch of low body image and overworked mind, you’ve got a prime candidate for wearing a blindfold.

When a woman is blindfolded, her sexual experience will be eye-opening, in a manner of speaking. Without the mental stress of her appearance, she’s free to lose herself in the sensations of your groping hands.

If her self-image problems are not as severe, but the man has performance issues, this is a good time to try man blindfolded. A guy who normally takes charge should ask his lover guide his hands over her body. When the man is blindfolded, the woman is still free to not look her best. She will probably find this a relief. It’s a win-win set-up. She gets to guide his hands over her body, teach him about herself, experience taking the lead. He gets the deeper sensual experience, relieve from performance anxiety.

It’s funny how few lovers realize this, but a blindfold is quite a handy sexual aid all around

Note: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of CyberDating.net, it's staff or management. This free advice is for entertainment purposes only.