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I’m in love with my friend and I want to know how he feels...

Question:

I have been friends with a guy for almost 5 years, and very close for the last 10 months. We talk every day and get together 3-4 times a week. He is 9 years younger than me, and we both occasionally date.

Everyone that sees us together swears we are dating, even though we have always kept things purely platonic. The problem is that I have fallen in love with him, and would like for us to date. Is there any way to let him know this without losing the friendship?

Answer:

Since you already know him, and know him quite well, the hardest part, establishing a friendship, is already done. Because everyone who sees you together thinks you’re already dating, the odds are good he feels the same way but doesn’t know what to do about it, either.

You want to let him know, in a nice, non threatening, classy way you’re attracted to him romantically and hope he feels the same way. Here’s how you do it.

He’s already giving you this information freely whether he wants to or not...

First, you need to gather some information. He’s already giving you this information freely whether he wants to or not, whether he knows it or not. It’s just a matter of knowing how to interpret what he’s telling you.

When you leave him, how do you say good-bye? A hug, a hand shake, etc.? If you don’t hug him good-bye, try it once. Just a quick hug, and see how he responds. Does he freeze when you hug him? Does he melt into your arms? There are many ways to hug someone. The longer the hug, the more romantic and sexual it becomes.

If you kiss him good-bye, what part of his face do you kiss, or does he kiss on you? The cheek is the most common one for friends. The closer to the lips it gets, the more romantic and sexual it becomes. If you kiss each other good-bye, keep going closer to his lips when you kiss. You’ll know right away by the way his body reacts whether he’s interested romantically or not.

Ask him how he likes your wardrobe and look at his response. Is he genuinely interested, like a man studying a woman, or does he respond like a friend.

Ask him who he’s going out with. Ask him what he looks for in a girlfriend. Since you’re friends, you should already know whether he’s going out with anyone. Does he get defensive when you ask him about women, meaning he could have hidden feelings for you. Have you ever talked about guys you see? What is his response?

I suggest being honest with him. Tell him you’d like to tell him something that’s important to you but you don’t want it to affect your friendship, that if his answer is no, you’ll accept it and it won’t affect the relationship you have. You have to be willing to accept his rejection gracefully if his answer is no.

These are several time tested methods of finding out whether he’s interested in getting more intimate with you or not and it does it with class, style and dignity.

Good luck and God Bless.

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