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I’ve been sort of dating a stripper...

Question:

Bryan, I’ve been sort of dating a stripper I met in a strip club she was in a bad relationship and I told her she should get out and she did then I began to help in every way possible, never slept with her and wanted a relationship with but she says that she isn’t ready for that and most of the time won’t give me the time of day except when she needs or wants something, offered her a job, but she still won’t give me the time of day as far as a relationship goes but acts like she gets jealous if I’m dating someone else says she likes me but not ready for a relationship, and won’t even make time for a friendship really and yet she will date other people.

This girl has really played with my head and is playing me bad how do I cut her off or get her want something with me or just should I move on?

Answer:

I’d like you to look at this situation logically rather than emotionally or with your crotch.

Let’s look at the facts as you’ve presented them: You’re ’sort of’ dating a dancer you met in a strip club; she was in a bad relationship; you told her to get out of it and she did; you’re trying to help her in every way possible; you haven’t had sex with her; she says she isn’t ready for a relationship with you but she dates other guys; she won’t give you the time of day except when she needs or wants something; and she gets jealous if you’re dating someone else.

Aside from having sex with her, what do you want? And aside from being rejected, hurt and abused, what are you getting out of this?

To help you see the truth about this situation, let’s try this: As wonderful of a person as you think she is, let’s change one thing about her physically. Now she weighs 300 pounds. Everything else stays the same. Meaning she still treats you like garbage, won’t give you the time of day, etc. How long would you put up with this?

In your mind she’s a beautiful woman. Why? Because she takes off her cloths in a sexy way to loud music for money? That can’t possibly be all you want out of a relationship.

Let me give you a basic fact of the real world: Strippers are not there to meet guys for a romantic relationship.

I’ve worked with strippers, I’ve dated strippers, I’ve had sex with strippers and I’ve lived with strippers. Let me give you a basic fact of the real world: Strippers are not there to meet guys for a romantic relationship. They take off their cloths and turn guys on in exchange for money. This is a business transaction, cut and dried. You are a part of that business transaction. No more, no less. I went through the same experiences when I worked at Chippendales. If I went out with the women I met there, they stopped tipping me and I was hurting my paycheck.

The main question I want to ask you is why would you allow anyone, male or female, to treat you this way? It’s a lack of self respect. Let’s say you get lucky and have sex with her. (I doubt you’re interested in her emotionally with the way she’s treated you). Do you really think it would be fun? It wouldn’t be recreational sex, just masturbating inside of her body. Then the emotional beating she’d put you through while you begged for acceptance wouldn’t be worth it.

She’s obviously not interested in a romantic relationship with you and she has been very up front with you about it. And it doesn’t mean you’re inadequate in any way. It just means you don’t have what she wants. You’re being a ’nice guy’ hoping she’ll change her mind and start to like you romantically. But what you’ve ended up being is a door mat. If you can’t see this, you’re faced with this abuse indefinitely.

The question is not: What can you do to make her like you romantically, because there is nothing you can do. Rather, the question is: How much longer are you willing to put up with compromising your self respect before you realize, understand and accept that you’ll never get what you want from her?

With the way she’s treating you now, she is giving you a taste of what a long term relationship with her would be like. Enjoy the fantasy but don’t try to make it a reality because your fantasy of who she is doesn’t come close to what she’s really like.

She hasn’t played games with your head. You’ve allowed her to play with it. Looking at it this way puts you back in control.

Why does she get jealous? Simple: If you get involved with another woman she’ll lose you for a door mat.

What is it you like about his woman? Let’s be honest. She makes a great masturbation fantasy and that’s it. Do you really want a full time diet of this abuse? That’s what you’d get if you ever went out with her. Since no one has a gun to your head, you’re doing this voluntarily.

If you want a successful, happy relationship with a woman you’ve got to stop letting your crotch rule your life at the expense of your self respect.

If you take away her physical beauty and deal with her logically instead of emotionally or sexually, you’ll have the key to reclaiming your self respect.

Again: Your stripper is there to make money. Pure and simple. She has no need, desire or intention of going out with you, nor to change. You have two choices: Continue the abuse or walk away. Please choose wisely.

Good luck and God Bless.

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